I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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