Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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