My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
