you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
