I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
