Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
