Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
