opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
