I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
