I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
