I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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