I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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