My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
