**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
