Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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