how can u be prego again
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
