You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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