and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
