if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
