sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
