He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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