i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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