he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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