you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
