do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
