Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
