I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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