She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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