If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
