I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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