i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
it glows. i had to have it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Found your dick twin last night
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
