butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
