love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
