can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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