there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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