Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
