i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
