um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
