One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
