So drunk its hurt
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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