i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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