I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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