Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
