Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
