I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
