I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
