It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
