evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
