Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
