I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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