Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you had me at cake vodka
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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