She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
